Ray Bradbury 52 Stories 52 Weeks Week 15 Turkey’s Last Stand

Well, since I’m going to be stuck in this cold place for the next few days. Where I’ll head into a heat wave soon afterwards. Hey, I guess I should tell you how I’ve or we’ve got into this. I’m going to start off by stating this right from the beginning. It’s not my fault! Not my fault at all. I’m the victim here! I’m the one that’s taking all the heat and the cold shouldering and all at once too. It all started when I was invited to their home and I didn’t think anything of it..at first. Of course, the others are calling me the newbie rather gleefully. The one that always gets picked in the first season. I wasn’t too sure what they were meaning until this clown arrived at our door. Now where I was before was cold, but not this cold.This makes Antarctica look like Hawaii by a long shot!  Annyhoow. I, being the newbie as I said before, gets picked up by what I thought is a lovely family. I didn’t think anything of it. It’s not until they get me home and start to unpack so many bags you’d think they’re preparing a feast. Then they have the audacity to give me the coldest welcome to the neighborhood I’ve ever experienced. I did think the hotel room’s rather cold though somehow I still sweat an awful lot for being in a chilly room. Maybe I’m going through the change already. The guy could have put up the furnace just a bit before I started feeling that way. I am however glad now he did not. Worst part of it they kept picking me up and poking me every couple hours. Well they didn’t, they didn’t change my venue or stop that for two days then everything changed one morning. When I overhear a conversation, something to do with stuffing, etc. I will spare you most of it.  I will say after the nice lovely person is left in the lobby area. I hear several clicks from across the room but can’t see anything. She then came into view, setting me near the edge of the concierge desk. How rude! Proceeding to tend to another customer ahead of moi. You’d think it be first come first serve and that’s where that statement’s become the wrong thing to think or say.  After a strange visit with another person who tended to me. I end up in a strange bed with some suntan oil which at first I thought nothing of, thinking tanning bed okay I could use a tan. Only it spirals out of control from then on. The one in charge of actually putting me into the sauna drops me…twice.  This of course feels a bit familiar with what happened to my uncle morton. But then I hear some arguing after I’m put down again over being put into the sauna. The big guy doesn’t want me to use his sauna. I have a solution. He said. 

When I hear a long sigh from a lovely female who said,  Thank Goodness.  

It involves Fire!  

Absolutely not! she quickly said.  

The last time you put the turkey into  the fire pit after dousing it with god knows what that secret  sauce is. You ended up without eyebrows and half a beard and you ended up inviting the fire dept to our dinner as a repayment for the mess you made in the backyard. Also we ended up with an already baked turkey from the store and you know those are awful!  This year let’s not do that again shall we?!  Now throw that thing in the oven before there’s another incident of a different kind. she demanded. Leaving him alone in dismay and rather glum looking.  After a moment he grabs my bathtub and flings me in carelessly. I tried shrieking but to no avail they did not hear. A short time later I ended up with hiccups. Then when he comes back to pour more oil on me. I proceeded to ignite a couple sparks. Boy did that sting what the heck is in that..(special) oil. Then he giggles like an idiot uttering. She’ll never know. tee hee hee. This will be our little secret. I mean nobody can actually ever taste my special oil and we can just pretend that nice shine is from the oven itself.  So this is how I’ve ended up here and it is almost the end. It won’t be long now. I’ve been here for the past two hours. I hope everyone has better luck next year and that is the story of the hour I got into this mess. No she never did find the oil, well at least not right away. He I’m sure he did get found out in the end. I’ll never know of course.  Boy something sure smells good. O yeah I forgot That’s me!  Happy Thanksgiving. 

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